It has come to my attention that sometimes in the dating field we make getting together a little more difficult than it needs to be. Here’s a great tip to make it easier.
Generally a man asks a woman out so for these examples we’ll us that traditional format.
If a man asks you out, and you actually have the desire and interest to go out with him, replying with any of the following is bad form:
“Can’t. I’m busy doing xyz,”
“I already have plans,”
“I’m at my friends house (or any other location)…”
What this does is telegraph to a man that you’ve got no interest whatsoever in getting together. Where is the rest of this terribly fragmented sentence? All I want to say after hearing something like this is… And??? And then what?
Now, we all lead busy lives. We don’t just need to hear how busy you are or that you can’t and you can’t and you can’t without making some attempt on your part to show that you actually want to see the other person.
I personally like and respond well to yes women. And at the very least I like a woman who suggests an alternative when she is interested like,
“Oh, I can’t tonight BUT (magic word) I would love to see you on Wednesday or Friday.”
“Tomorrow’s not good but how about tonight?”
“You know, I’m so busy the whole week but I do want to to see you. How about sometime next week?”
Ah! men and women would love this. It’s not that you’re creating more of a desire when you say no and we have to keep asking, it actually just sounds like you’re not interested. And if you’re not interested, that’s fine, but definitely do not say no by just telling us how busy you are. Say no by saying no.
I’m not sure what it is, if it’s a fear of being rejected or just not wanting to put yourself out there a little bit, but I assure you, dipping your toe into the water and making yourself a little available will go along way with the person that you like. So simple and so attractive. That friends, will make you stand out amongst the rest.